An Open Letter to 'Anonymous'

Dear Anonymous,
Attn: Over 350 unique readers of my blog
I always welcome comments and criticism, both positive and negative, as long as they're constructive. For those of you who have not seen the posts by 'anonymous', I thought I should put them front center and highlight them on the main page as they certainly put me, the ignorant, ill-intentioned and bumbling idiot of a Westerner, in my place. I thought it important to bring your wit, brilliance and compassion to the masses the best way I know how, via blogpost (please refer to the comments at the bottom of this letter). The world would be a much better place, where every single person out of the 6.5 billion on this planet, would have a complete, holistic and agreeable understanding of Filipino culture if you could post on all of our blogs.

I publicly repent my egregious sins against your culture, dialect/language and overall sensibilities. The time, thought and effort you put in to trying to protect me from those you assure me tear me to shreds when I am not around is thoughtful and far surpasses any responsibilities you may have in your day-to-day life. You're a saint akin to Annie Sullivan, never giving up on the deaf, dumb and blind of the world. I assure you I will become the perfect Bisaya first, Filipino second, with a complete and absolute understanding of the culture, aspects which are both implicit and explicit. Unless of course you think I have no business being here, in which case please write your senators as your government requested us to be here.

I am delighted that I can be to you a proverbial punching bag for your heavy handed, elitist and generally pejorative compassion. Your superiority complex is charming and is the honey of which the adage contrasts to vinegar. If it were not for your palling savior complex to rescue me from the depths of ignorance and the community members I thought were my friends, I would certainly regret giving up two years of my young life to try to do something good and decent, all at the hands of my friends and adopted family! It must be so difficult for you to see me, floundering in a culture I still don't understand, giving up chances for a well-paying job, leaving my friends and family for two years, suffering typhoid, ringworm, bacterial infections and severe sinus infections, learning another language I will never be able to use again after my service and still make such an ass of myself; so much so in fact that you have chosen to go out of your way to enlighten me. God bless you.

I mean it all most sincerely,
Sean

P.S. Next time don't be so God damn spineless and post with a real name. Posting anonymous is embarrassing and diminishes most anything you can say to that of a shitless 13 year old. I resent the fact that you're a Cabalianon and your attitude tarnishes the reputation of the kind, understanding and grateful people here that have accepted me so warmly. Ask them yourself if you really have your fingers on the pulse of this community. But be sure to introduce yourself when asking the community as remaining anonymous may work out unfavorably.

Anonymous is an apt nom de plume as you certainly have become enstranged from the disposition of this community.

The first I would like to share comes from my back to school post:
Do remove the 'po' in the 'daghan salamat' phrase. While it has become more acceptable in the past decades to speak in Filipino or sugarcoated Tagalog, combining linguistic elements of Tagalog and Bisaya makes you a laughingstock. People around you are just polite not to bare their palates in laughter while you are around. Once you're out of the scene, you're shredded to pieces. Trust me, I'm Cabalianon. And I am not doing some sort of smear campaign; I just want to keep my kababayans from doing their nefarious deeds.
The second comes from San Pedro, San Pablo:
Correction: The day is completely marked as the Solemnity of Saints Peter and Paul. These is marked as a First Class Feast and as a Holy Day of Obligation in the Philippines. Your observation mainly centers on what you see at school where students join the throng of the majority trooping to the oil-soaked beaches. The matured generations of Cabalian first hears Mass before going to the beach. I am not surprised at this observation taken from the point of view of a Westerner. A piece of advice: Do not think that setting your foot at the edge of the forest vests you with the capability of fathoming the mystery of the forest.

And to Jeffrey: It is sad you call your own culture laid-back. You almost singlehandedly demolish Rizal's arguments on the 'non'-indolence of the Filipinos. Cabalianons pure at heart are sparse and few. Unfortunately, they do not advertise themselves unless provoked.
Post the third comes from Judging Miss Gay:
Again, another blunder. Before you speak of sexuality in the Philippines, try to get in contact with Dr. Michael L. Tan of the University of the Philippines in Diliman. I express my vehement condemnation on this: "As I said, bayot translates to gay." I think you got this from even the most brilliant teacher in SJNHS. But mind you, this is wrong. "Bayot" can never be translated as gay. For one, "bayot" is related to behavioral effeminacy, which when ingrained before and beyond age 7 (if my psychological musings are right), becomes quite irreversible. Try to expand your database of information even if you post a disclaimer at the end of your entry.